Canada’s capital is gripped with fear this evening as word has spread of an outbreak of giant ants. The ants are believed to be tied to secret experiments that have taken place in a mysterious lab at an as yet undisclosed super secret location.
City of Ottawa officials commenting on the disaster were overheard saying, “This is a desperate situation, even the Junos might be in danger”. Other witnesses to the horrific scene reported several requests to, “Pass the RAID! Quick!” The Mayor and the Chief of Police have asked citizens to remain calm and stay in their homes. They also suggested residents not leave any stray crumbs on kitchen counters or small pets in backyards.
While the city struggles with the infestation, it is clear the problem will be short-lived. Captain Kirk a.k.a. William Shatner is expected to arrive in Ottawa over the weekend and city officials are certain he will make short work of the pesky creatures.